Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.
If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.
If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?
A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.
If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.
I wish I didn’t need to reblog stuff like this. I wish people *got it*. But judging from the ridiculous response to these posts, stuff like this clearly still needs to be repeated.
You’re either loose, (some young girls of color are just automatically marked “fast” as soon as their bodies develop) or a stuck up bitch.
Either way your sexuality, or how others want to decide what your sexuality is, is the main factor that determines how human others want to treat you…
Henry Rollins (via blejz)
im a fan of this man and quote
Mukluk nibbling, ladies, that’s what you’ll get!
“I hold death in my pouch, I cannot die.” - Fela Kuti
TRIGGER WARNING FOR RACIST AND MISOGYNISTIC SLURS
It really worries me that 84% of this audience agrees with that statement, because the kind of people that say “political correctness gone mad” are usually using that phrase as a kind of cover action to attack minorities or people that they disagree with. I’m of an age that I can see what a difference political correctness has made. When I was four years old, my grandfather drove me around Birmingham, where the Tories had just fought an election campaign saying, “if you want a n****r for a neighbour, vote Labour,” and he drove me around saying, “this is where all the n-rs and the c-ns and the jungle bunnies live.” And I remember being at school in the early 80s and my teacher, when he read the register, instead of saying the name of the one asian boy in the class, he would say, “is the black spot in,” right? And all these things have gradually been eroded by political correctness, which seems to me to be about an institutionalised politeness at its worst. And if there is some fallout from this, which means that someone in an office might get in trouble one day for saying something that someone was a bit unsure about because they couldn’t decide whether it was sexist or homophobic or racist, it’s a small price to pay for the massive benefits and improvements in the quality of life for millions of people that political correctness has made. It’s a complete lie that allows the right, which basically controls media now, and international politics, to make people on the left who are concerned about the way people are represented look like killjoys. And I’m sick, I’m really sick— 84% of you in this room that have agreed with this phrase, you’re like those people who turn around and go, “you know who the most oppressed minorities in Britain are? White, middle-class men.” You’re a bunch of idiots.
Stewart Lee - “Heresy”, BBC Radio 4, 16th May 2007 (via ijclark)
stewart lee is my absolute hero
“Art must discover and reveal the beauty which prejudice and caricature have overlaid. And all vital art discovers beauty and opens our eyes to that which previously we could not see”
—Alain Locke on black art (via blackcontemporaryart)
Holocaust survivor Hajo Meyer
I thought the champ was the US?
Dean Spade (Queerture: Q & A With Dean Spade)
In which they also discuss Comme and hidden pieces within garments.
Seeing others go ham definitely reinforces my own urges to go ham.
He has made no sincere apology, he has never shown guilt/shame/regret for what he did, he sought no treatment afterwards to address his anger problems or to therapeutically work through what he did and no sensitivity training and reconciliatory retreats in order to understand and empathize for women. NOTHING.
This makes me so mad. So fucking mad. And what’s even worse is that there are people out there who think all he did was make “one mistake” and it shouldn’t be held over his head forever.
You know what?
He made ONE mistake, REPEATEDLY and to varying degrees of strength and force on his girlfriend’s face, arms, legs and body and he has done NOTHING to repent for it.
And he gets to walk free and even has been REWARDED for what he did.
FUCK IT ALL.
And the silence from women, from the media and from fellow men who have any shred of decency for the women in their lives and women in general absolutely disgusts me. Such to a point where I’m so close to thinking, “Am I wrong? Is nobody talking about this because it isn’t a big deal?”
But it IS. And it’s disturbing that it isn’t being made more clear that it is.
Welp! that did it for me. lmao, what a waste.
i really wish we weren’t forced to put so much energy into this guy, but he represents and embodies too much of what’s going wrong to be ignored
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Toni Morrison (via tobia)
Grace Lee Boggs (b. 1915), Chinese American philosopher, civil rights legend, and social activist.
and very interesting talks on Urban Farming
Went to Angela Davis & Grace Lee Boggs “in conversation” today and certainly have a lot to think about.